The Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating Etiquette

Online dating has become the norm for meeting potential partners—but with swipes, matches, and messages flying back and forth, it’s easy to forget that there’s still an unspoken code of conduct. Whether you’re new to the apps or a seasoned swiper, good etiquette can make the difference between ghosted chats and real connections. Here’s your guide to mastering the dos and don’ts of online dating.

✅ DO: Be Honest in Your Profile

It’s tempting to post a filtered photo or stretch the truth about your job or interests, but honesty builds trust from the start. According to Pew Research, nearly 71% of online daters say people often misrepresent themselves on apps—and it’s a major turnoff.

Tip: Use recent photos, and be real about what you’re looking for. Authenticity attracts the right kind of attention.

❌ DON’T: Ghost Someone After Several Conversations

Everyone deserves closure—even if it’s brief. Ghosting after a real connection has started can feel deeply personal and confusing. As Psychology Today explains, ghosting can trigger feelings of rejection and emotional pain.

Better move: If you’re no longer interested, a simple “Hey, I’ve enjoyed talking but I don’t think we’re a match” goes a long way.

✅ DO: Respect Boundaries and Pace

Some people want to chat for days before meeting. Others prefer grabbing coffee within hours of matching. Respect their comfort zone. Pushing for a date or explicit talk too quickly is a fast track to being unmatched.

What works: Let them set the pace—and match their energy. Consent and comfort are essential from the very first message.

❌ DON’T: Send One-Word or Lazy Messages

“Hey.” “Sup.” “Wyd.” These are the junk mail of dating apps. Low-effort messages often get ignored, and for good reason. A report by Hinge shows that personalized openers significantly increase your chances of getting a reply.

Try this: Comment on something specific from their profile. Even a simple, “I see you love hiking—what’s your favorite trail?” beats “hi.”

✅ DO: Be Clear About What You Want

Whether you’re looking for love, something casual, or not sure yet, transparency keeps expectations in check. Misleading people into thinking you want a relationship when you don’t (or vice versa) wastes everyone’s time.

Pro tip: Use your bio or first few messages to share your intentions. Sites like OkCupid and Bumble allow you to list relationship goals—take advantage.

❌ DON’T: Take Rejection Personally

Not every match will lead to something—and that’s okay. Taking a “no” as an insult or lashing out is immature and damaging. Remember, behind every profile is a real person who owes you nothing.

Healthier mindset: Thank them for their honesty and move on with grace. Confidence comes from how you respond—not how often you’re accepted.

✅ DO: Keep Your First Messages Respectful

Flirty can be fun—but jumping straight into sexual comments or overly forward remarks is usually a huge turnoff. As Bustle points out, respectful communication is often what sets you apart in a sea of noise.

Opening tip: Lead with curiosity or humor. Build chemistry, don’t force it.

Final Thoughts

The rules of online dating may not be posted on the app—but they still matter. Treat people how you’d want to be treated, be up front, and don’t forget there’s a human on the other side of that screen. Good etiquette isn’t old-fashioned—it’s your secret weapon in standing out from the crowd.